Life's little instructions

1. Believe in love at first sight.
2. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
3. When you feel terrific notify your face.
4. Love deeply and passionately; you might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.
5. Never apologize for being early.
6. Open the car door for you wife and always help her with her coat.
7. Rake a big pile of leaves every fall and jump in it with someone you love.
8. Volunteer. Sometimes jobs no one wants conceal big opportunities.
9. Never drive while holding a cup of hot coffee between your knees.
10. Have a professional photo of yourself made. Update every three years.
11. Never miss an opportunity to ride a roller coaster.
12. Never miss an opportunity to have someone rub you back.
13. When you see a box turtle crossing the road,stop and put it safely on the road side.
14. Create a little signal only your wife knows so that you can show her you love her across the crowded room.
15. Never be the first to break a family tradition.
16. Keep a diary of your accomplishments at work. Then, when you ask for a raise, you'll have all the information you need to back it up.
17. Drive as you wish your kids would do.
18. In disagreements fight fairly. No name calling.
19. Never take the last piece of fried chicken.
20. Ask about a store's return policy when buying items than 50 euros.
21. When you go to borrow money, dress as you have plenty of it.
22. Never pick-up anything from the floor of a cab.
23. Don't judge people by their relatives.
24. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
25. Don't pick up after your children. That's there job.
26. Own a comfortable chair for reading.
27. Own a set of good kitchen knives.
28. Brush your teeth before putting on your little black dress.
29. Never risk what you cannot afford to lose.
30. Mind your own business.
31. Don't trust a man who doesn't close his eyes when you kiss him.
32. Never tell a men he's loosing his hair. He already knows.
33. Learn to use a needle and thread, a steam iron and an espresso machine.
34. Never say "my child would never do that".
35. Once a year go someplace you've never been before.
36. Remember that ignorance is expensive.
37. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are alive. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
39. Listen to your critics, they will keep you focused and innovative.
40. Never tell a person who's experiencing deep sorrow, "I know how you feel". You don't!
41. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of good luck.
42. At meetings resist turning around to see who has just arrived.
43. Just because you earn a decent wage, don't look down at those who don't. Consider what would happen to the public good if you didn't do your job for 30 days. Next, consider the consequences if sanitation workers didn't do their job for 30 days. Now, whose job is more important?
44. Don't do business with people who knock at your door and say "I just happened to be in the neighborhood."
45. Call a nursing home or a retirement center and ask for a list of residents who seldom get mail or visitors. Send them a card several times a year. Sign it "Someone who thinks you are very special."
46. Read a lot when your on vacation.
47. Overestimate travel time by 15 percent.
48. Properly fitting shoes feel good as soon as you try them on. Don't believe the salesperson who says, "They'll be fine as soon as you break them in."
49. Get a haircut a week before the big interview.
50. Spend your life lifting up people, not putting them down.
51. Spend your time creating, not criticizing.
52. Visit your old highschool and introduce yourself to the principal. Ask if you could sit in a couple of classes.
53. Respect sailboats, snowmobiles and motorcycles. They can teach you a very painful lesson very fast.
54. Take care of your soul. Don't take off your clothes in front of every person who says I love u.
55. In a verbal confrontation lower your voice to the degree that the other person raises his or hers.
56. Let your children see you do things for your wife that lets them know how much you love her.
57. When traveling back roads,stop whenever you see a sign that says "Honey For Sale"
58. Think twice before deciding not to charge for your work. People often don't value what they don't pay for.
59. Never grab at a falling knife.
60. When your dog dies, frame its collar and put it on the wall facing west.
61. When a label says "Dry Clean Only", believe it!
62. Help a child plant a small garden.
63. Pray. There is immeasurable power in it.
64. Don't call a fishing rod a "pole", a line a "rope", a rifle a "gun" or a ship a "boat". Learn to call things by there actual names.
65. Remember that half the joy of achievement is anticipation.
66. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than the need for each other.
67. Get involved with your local government.
68. Never swap your integrity for money, power or fame.
69. Fool someone on April 1st.
70. Never remind someone of a kindness or act of generosity you have shown him or her
71. Learn to play Amazing Grace on the piano.
72. Never be ashamed of your patriotism.
73. Never be ashamed of honest tears.
74. Never be ashamed of laughter that's too loud or singing that's too joyful.
75. Don't trust your memory. Write it down.
76. When you get really angry, stick your hands into your pockets.
77. Do all you can to increase the salaries of good teachers.
78. Don't call your doctor stupid. He saves lives for a living.
79. Visit friends and relatives when they are in the hospital. You only need to stay a few minutes.
80. When declaring you right don't forget your responsibilities.
81. Think twice before accepting a job that requires you to work in an office with no windows.
82. Remember that everyone you meet wears an invisible sign. It reads "Notice me. Make me feel important"
83. Never hire someone you would not invite home for dinner.
84. When camping never leave evidence that you were there.
85. If you lend someone money make sure his character exceeds the collateral.
86. Be cautious telling people how contended and happy you are. Many will resent it.
87. Hang up if someone puts you on hold to take a call waiting.
88. Accept the fact that regardless how many times you were right, you will sometimes be wrong.
89. Every once in a while ask yourself the question, if money weren't consideration, what would I like to be doing?
90. Learn the rules. Then break some.
91. No matter how old you get hug and kiss your parents whenever you greet them.
92. Don't think that sending a gift or flowers substitutes for your presence.
93. Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
94. Never buy a piece of jewelery that costs more than 100$ without doing a little haggling.
95. When your children are learning to play musical instruments buy them good ones.
96. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
97. Become a tourist for a day in your hometown.
98. Don't mistake kindness for weakness.
99. Create a smoke-free office and home.
100. Let some things remain mysterious.
101. Never ignore evil.
102. Be especially courteous and patient with older people.
103. Remember "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it"
104. Travel. See places, but remember to take along an open mind.
105. Never eat a sugared doughnut wearing a black suit.
106. When you are away from home and hear church bells, think of someone who loves you.
107. Never decide to do nothing just because you can do little. Do what you can.
108. Ever now and then bite off more than you can chew.
109. Remember that your character is your destiny.
110. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
111. Be better prepared than u think u'll need to be.
112. Buy a small inexpensive camera. Take it with you everywhere.
113. Pay extra money for the best seats at a play or a concert.
114. Never buy something from a rude salesperson, no matter how much you want it.
115. Get a flu shot.
116. Worry makes for a hard pillow. When something's troubling you, before going to sleep, jot down three things you can do the next day to help you resolve the issue.
117. Buy a red umbrella.It's easier to find among all the black ones and it adds some color to rainy days.
118. One time love someone who does not deserve it.
119. When you mean no, say it in a way that's not ambiguous.
120. Give children toys that are powered by there imagination, not by batteries.
121. Remember that your child's character is like good soup, both homemade.
122. When you buy something that u only need to buy once, buy the best you can afford
123. As soon as you get married start saving for ur children's education.
124. Say "bless you" when someone sneezes.
125. Don't let your family get so busy that you don't sit down at least on meal per day.
126. When you lose, don't lose your lesson.
127. Don't overlook life's small joys while searching for the big ones.
128. Don't marry a woman who picks at her food. Or a guy for that matter.
129. Don't be surprised to discover that luck favors those who are prepared.
130. Don't expect your love alone to make a neat person out of a messy one.
131. Every so often, invite the person in line behind to go ahead of you.
132. "Stay hungry. Stay foolish."
133. "Keep looking, don't settle!"

Do NOT think!

"Like most humanoids, I am burdened with what is called the "monkey mind" - the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl. From the distant past to the unknowable future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined. This in itself is not necessarily a problem; the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking. Happy thoughts make me happy, but - whoop - how quickly I swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood; and then it is the remembrance of an angry moment and I start to get hot an pissed off all over again; and then my mind decides it might be a good time to start feeling sorry for itself, and loneliness follows promptly. You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves of your thoughts, and you are the slave of your emotions."

Streaming thoughts

M-am intins in pat, langa tine, asa cum o fac seara de seara de 300 de zile incoace. Ti-am simtit atingerea si brusc eram acasa, in bratele tale, singurul loc unde ma simt in siguranta. Respiratia ta imi gadila pielea iar parul meu prea cret iti gadila atingerea. Am inchis ochii si am pasit in alta lume, lumea in care suntem doi, doar noi doi. Vreau sa ma inchid in ea si sa nu mai plec niciodata. Acolo este totul si nimicul, acolo putem fi unul, un tot unic si simplu, cu degete la fel de urate la picioare si fara oameni care sa ne judece existenta. Acolo suntem arhitectii propriului univers si nimic nu ne poate rapi talentul. Acolo putem manca Finetti la 3 dimineata si ciocolata la masa de pranz. Acolo am bea suc in loc de apa si eu m-as hrani din tine. Acolo am fi unici, la fel cum suntem si aici, pentru ca suntem noi...Si inca ceva, lumea asta de care iti tot vorbesc, pe langa ca e minunata, e si nemuritoare.

Am visat frumos azi noapte.

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At the end of the day...

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

What makes me happy

Some little things that make me happy and brighten the most horrible day:
being alive
talking to my friends
buying something I deserve
listening to my fave song
being told I look beautiful
running in the wind
going to sleep
flowers
living with passion and purpose
my car :)
sunshine
family and friends
being free to be myself
big sunglasses
skype
holidays
P!nk
chocolate
beauty products
hugs
rainbows
making people laugh
perfumes
watching my fave TV show
fresh air in the morning
taking pictures
sun tans
seeing friends
pretty colors
that 'clean' feeling after a shower
new outfits
the smell of you
pillow fights
Christmas
my phone :)
sweets
Halloween
dreams
receiving and giving a gift
feeling like I'm on the top of the world
going to Paris
seeing an old friend
kisses
new people
a Long Island Ice Tea
shopping
going to the theatre
youtube
the Annoying Orange
french manicures
swimming pools
lollipops
going hiking
taking my high-heels of when my feet hurt
going home
mom's cookies
bubbles
a late night swim in the sea
finishing a big project
getting good grades at exams
clear blue sky
freedom
laughing
a cold coke on a torrid summer day
love
cigarettes
the smell of fresh coffee in the morning
silly things
making people laugh
sleeping in
knowing I have achieved smth
a good night out
graduation
visiting my grandparents
traveling
having ambitions
writing
curls
knowing my parents are healthy
my new camera :)
strawberries
Erasmus
snow
a smile from a stranger
you
skiing
dressing up
puppies
a good Monday
dancing in the rain

And these are only a few...I can go on and on forever...so there are many things that could make you happy every day, and if they do they can't be that bad...

This is freedom, I'm smiling, you're smiling too

Libertatea este în continuare lucrul pe care-l preţuiesc cel mai mult pe lume. Sigur ca asta m-a determinat să beau vinuri care nu-mi plăceau, să fac lucruri pe care nu trebuia să le fac şi pe care nu le voi repeta niciodată, să am multe cicatrice în trup şi-n suflet, să-i rănesc pe unii cărora am sfârşit prin a le cere iertare, într-o perioadă în care am înţeles că puteam să fac orice în afară de a obliga pe cineva să mă urmeze în nebunia mea, în setea mea de a trăi. Nu mă căiesc pentru clipele în care am pătimit, îmi port cicatricele ca şi cum ar fi nişte medalii. Ştiu că libertatea este foarte scumpă, la fel de scumpă ca şi sclavia, singura diferenţă este că o plătesc cu plăcere şi cu un... zâmbet, chiar dacă zâmbetul este udat de lacrimi.

life's a bitch...it just depends who fucks who

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm”

GANDACELUL BOC

De ce m-ai prins in pumnul tau,

Si m-ai fortat? Tu nu stii oare

Ca-s mic si eu si ca ma doare

Cand tu ma strangi atat de rau?

Primar ca tine- am fost si eu,

Si-am renuntat la primarie,

Si mila trebuia sa-ti fie,

De plansul si mandatul meu!

Din tihna mea din Manastur,

Tu m-ai chemat la Bucuresti,

Si mi-ai promis c-o sa ma cresti,

Acum mi-e clar, te doare-n cur.

De ce ma lasi acum in pom?

Ca-n toate am facut ca tine

Azi plange Clujul dupa mine,

Si plang si cursele Tarom.

Si plange mama mult de tot

Ca i-au trantit in plen baiatul

Si vede la TV tot satul

C-a-luat-o premieru-n bot

Si ochii tatei lacrimi storc

Cu ei in zare tot ramane,

indura-te de ei stapane,

Si lasa-ma sa ma intorc.

Mi-as lua bilete la low cost

Ca azi m-au cam uitat pilotii,

Nu le mai tremura chilotii

Ca cand eram si eu ce-am fost.

Asa plangea un ardelean

In pumnul ce-l strangea sa-l rupa

Si l-a deschis Basescu dupa

Ce-l tot strivise an de an.

A incercat sa-l mai invie;

I-a multumit pentru curaj,

Dar ardeleanul in picaj

S-a prabusit pentru vecie.

Scarbit de fapta ta cea rea,

Degeaba-l plangi pe Boc cu zile.

Ci mergi spasit acum si zi-le

Clujenilor, isprava ta.

Mai zi-le ca de-acum ai vrea

Sa nu mai tot strivesti de zid

Oricare gaza de partid

Care-a trecut prin fata ta.

Iar ca poet, zi-le c-ai vrea

Sa aperi orice vietate,

Oricat de fara-nsemnatate,

Si cu oricata voluptate

In cur, saraca, te-ar pupa.

Sfaturi pentru adultii contemporani

Pentru adultii contemporani, pseudo-intelecto-neuro-hipohondri.... adica noi...

Se spune ca zilnic trebuie sa mancam un mar pentru fier si o banana pentru potasiu. De asemenea o portocala pentru vitamina C, o jumatate pepene galben pentru a imbunatati digestia si o cana de ceai verde, fara zahar, pentru a preveni diabetul.In fiecare zi trebuie sa bei doi litri de apa si apoi sa astepti timp dublu decat timpul pe care ti l-a luat ca sa le bei. Zilnic trebuie sa mananci Activia sau iaurt, pentru a avea "L.Cassei Defensis", care nu stie nimeni ce este, dar se pare ca, daca nu bei un iaurt si jumatate in fiecare zi, incepi sa vezi lumea cam tulbure.In fiecare zi o aspirina, pentru a preveni infarctul, si un pahar de vin rosu, pentru acelasi lucru. Si altul de vin alb, pentru sistemul nervos. Si unul de bere, pe care deja nu-mi mai amintesc pentru ce era. Daca le bei pe toate impreuna, chiar si daca faci o indigestie, nu te mai preocupa si probabil nici nu te mai intereseaza.In fiecare zi trebuie sa mananci fibre. Multe, foarte multe fibre. Trebuie sa mananci intre 4-6 feluri zilnic, usoare, fara sa uiti sa mesteci de 100 de ori fiecare inghititura.Facand un mic calcul, doar pentru a manca, iti ia cam 5 ore. Ah, dupa fiecare mancare trebuie sa te speli pe dinti, adica: dupa Activia si fibre, dintii, dupa banana, dintii, dupa mar, dintii...si asa, daca ai dinti, fara sa uiti sa folosesti firul dentar, masajul gingiilor, o sorbitura de Plax. Mai bine umple cada si pune muzica, pentru ca intre apa, fibra si dinti, iti vei petrece cateva ore aici, inauntru .Daca dormi 8 ore si lucrezi alte 8, plus cele 5 pe care le folosim pentru mancare, fac 21 de ore .Iti raman 3, in care intotdeauna se poate intampla ceva imprevizibil. Dupa statistici, vedem 3 ore zilnic televizorul. Ei bine, deja nu se poate, pentru ca in fiecare zi trebuie sa mergi cel putin o jumatate de ora pe jos, adica sa te intorci dupa 15 minute, ca altfel dupa o jumatate de ora se face o ora de mers. Si trebuie sa-ti pastrezi prieteniile, pentruca sunt ca plantele: trebuie udate zilnic. Si cand pleci in vacanta deasemeni.Pe langa asta trebuie sa fii bine informat, asa ca trebuie sa citesti cel putin doua ziare si anumite articole de revista, pentru a compara informatia. Ah!, trebuie sa faci sex zilnic, dar fara sa ajungi sa fie ca o rutina: trebuie sa fii inventator, creator, sa renovezi seductia. Asta ia timp; si nici nu mai vorbim daca este sex tantric !!!(cu respect iti amintesc: dupa fiecare mancare , trebuie sa-ti perii dintii). De asemenea trebuie sa-ti faci timp pentru curatenie, pentru spalat rufe, vase, si nu mai zic daca ai caine, sau alt animal... copiii...In fine, dupa socoteala mea, imi ies cam 29 de ore zilnic Singura posibilitate care-mi trece prin minte este sa faci mai multe lucruri deodata, de exemplu: iti faci dus cu apa rece si cu gura deschisa, asa bei cei 2 litri de apa In timp ce iesi din baie cu periuta de dinti in gura, te duci sa faci amor (tantric) in picioare, cu perechea ta, care in treacat se uita la TV si comenteaza, in timp ce tu maturi. Ti-a ramas o mana libera? Cheama-ti prietenii si parintii !!! Bea vinul (dupa ce iti chemi parintii va fi nevoie ).Iaurtul cu mar ti-l poate da perechea ta, in timp ce isi mananca banana cu Activia si maine schimbati. Ce bine ca deja am crescut si nu mai trebuie sa luam obligatoriul Danonino Extra Calcio in fiecare zi Uuuf!!! Dar daca iti raman 2 minute,trimite asta prietenilor (pe care trebuie sa-i uzi ca pe plante), in timp ce iei o lingurita de All Bran, care face foarte bine Si acuma te las pentru ca intre iaurt, jumatatea de pepene, berea, primul litru de apa si a treia mancare de fibra din zi, deja nu stiu ce sa mai fac, dar am nevoie la closet urgent ….. Ah, o sa profit si imi voi lua periuta de dinti...